吴老师快回国了，事实上他并不孤独。今天偶然看到一篇介绍施一公的文章，其中说到他的很多观点，我都很赞同和钦佩。施一公（原）是Princeton的生物系教授，研究结构生物学，学术水平在华人圈内可谓无以复加。他毕业于清华，如今他已回到母校。人在奥运年嘛，咱们看看爱国如何爱得深沉。
摘录：
“普林斯顿大学是美国最适合做研究的地方，从条件上讲，如果只从科研角度出发的话，我确实没有必要回清华，我回清华的目的不只是为了做科研。我回来的根本目的是为了育人，教育一批人，育人在育心，做科研是育人的一个重要环节。我觉得现在的大学生缺乏理想，缺乏一种无论出现什么情况都不会放弃的东西。我想，如果引导正确的话，清华大学一定会有这样的一批学生，他们在为自己奋斗的同时，心里还装着一些自己之外的东西，以天下事为己任，驱使他们往前走，一定会有一批人这样做。如果这样，20或30年后，当我从清华退休时，我会很满意的。”
“我愿意将我的一些经历讲出来，让大家理解我为什么会有这些想法，我相信这些想法能影响一些人，当然，我不会奢望影响所有的人。像清华这样的学校，学生们必须立大志，担负起中国的将来。他们有非常好的素质和机会，但如果毕业后只为自己的柴米油盐关心，只为自己的房子和家庭担心，那是很不应该的事，至少我会很伤心。”
“我回来后，妻子和孩子也会回来。说实在的，我觉得他们在自然环境和物质条件上是有损失的，对妻子来讲则是完全地付出。但我对孩子的教育也有一些自己的想法。”施一公说，在美国长大的中国孩子有一个身份认同问题，他希望自己的孩子能在中国接受早期教育，有一种民族认同感，在他看来，“这太重要了!等他们上了中学、有一些自己的想法后，如果愿意出去学习，我也会送他们出去，让他们自己做选择。”
回国前，一位最好的朋友对他说：“一公，你现在豪情万丈，回去后肯定不到两年，就会被国内的大染缸染得看不见颜色了。”他对记者说：“我很自信我不会改，我的意志很坚定，我改变不了几十年形成的人品和做事方式，两年后不会改，20年后也不会改。如果改了，我会觉得很悲哀！我会问自己：回来干什么？”
他强调开始时会有一个适应过渡阶段，比如在普林斯顿，因为空气质量好，作实验时很少会出现被污染的情况，但他们去年在清华作实验时，培养的细菌经常被空气中的噬菌体杀死。因此，他们有个规定：所有实验室的窗户必须关闭，无论天气多好都不能打开……“总之，作一些调整，环境是可以适应的。”
回来全职工作还不到一个月，就有传言：施一公已经学会敬酒了！他说：“这句话不对，我在出国前就会敬酒了，这有什么关系呢？我有自己做事的原则，我不会做有违原则的事。我不会与这个体制格格不入，能接受的东西我会接受，不能接受的东西我不会做。”
施一公认为，科学家有两类：第一类是完全专心致力于学术，信仰学术，在学术上做得非常好、非常深；第二类是社会责任感更大一些。他说自己属于第二类：“当初我选择专业方向、决定做什么事情是根据社会的需要。”
“美国一些大学的院系在请我去做院长、系主任，在别人眼里，我在美国有光明的前景，但我认为我在美国的前途不如在中国光明。为什么呢？这是我内心的感觉，我觉得美国是一个发展得很稳定的国家，有没有我关系不大，如果我在职位上或科学上做得更好，对这个国家进步的贡献也就是从100到100.1或101，不过如此。但回国就不一样了，因为中国还有很多东西亟待改进，从科技体制和基金评审到大学教学和科研水平，相对于美国一流大学还有相当差距，我觉得我回来以后可以有更大的作为，这种成就感对我来说很重要。”
“没有世界一流大学，或者不是世界一流大学，偶尔也会有世界一流的发现，但对一个国家来说，这是不够的。中国作为一个泱泱大国，如果没有世界一流大学，不可能全方位成为世界强国。任何一个国家领导人，本着对国家和民族的利益出发，都会努力支持建设世界一流大学，这是大势所趋。”
出处：http://www.mitbbs.cn/article_t/Biology/31178508.html
Harvard想挖他，Princeton可以用钱摆平；他一旦想回国了，那么就是金山银库也留不住的了。
PS，还有另一种人：学术水平低下，并且本就无意在国外发展，借着国内招贤纳士的趋势，回国混得名利双收。同时还有另一种声音，对每一个回国的人进行质疑和攻击。他们的心态大概有两种可能：一是为了防范前述的那种沽名钓誉之徒，不明真相便指三道四；另一则是妒忌和恐慌，毕竟那些牛人回来之前他们是老大，经费全由他们拿，而回来之后他们就什么都不是了。
（一瞥http://www.mitbbs.cn/bbsdoc/Biology.html即可知道质疑攻击之事非虚。）
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
香港
上周末去了一趟香港；此行著實驚艷。
這次是第二次；第一次是我高一暑假去美國的時候，路過住了兩宿。那時見的世面也少，僅是那林立的高樓就把我完全鎮住了。現代城市的壯觀華麗在那次給了我第一印象。
這次我自以為已有充分的心理準備，但香港依然給了我很大的驚喜。從空間上講，它離我居住的廣州不過百余公里，但它所表現出的城市風貌和市民心理與廣州截然不同（可以說優勝許多）。從時間上講，它的城市歷史不足兩百年，抵不上蘇州一個零頭，但人類的偉力使得在這一彈丸之地上（瞬間）樹立起一東方明珠。挖山填海，修路建樓，兩百年內，便有香港。
舊金山也曾讓我覺得驚艷，如一西方美女出現眼前；香港的驚艷則如一ABC，黃皮膚黑眼睛，但操著洋調番話。兩者都沒勾起我很大的認同感。在香港，你的國語很難派上用場；多數地方都得說我不太愛說的廣東話，少數地方你還必須得動用英語。漫步杭州，我的愉悅是放松的；因為蘇軾白居易他們就是我的祖宗，既是血統上的也是文化上的。他們漫步過西湖，游歷過靈隱，我自然也能。杭州的美麗如一鄰家女孩的親切。但在香港，我的心態是在打客場，處處小心，總恐違了規矩：她的美麗只能是驚艷，只愿遠處觀之不敢走進搭訕。
有人說，怎么會呢，香港到處都是中文，你如何懷有如此的心靈距離？在我看來，香港代表著中國文化的一極。在西安，在金陵，中國文化的代表是那斑駁的城墻，幽幽的小巷；那是我們文化的大后方，挖地三十丈釀酒儲糧，地下滿是谷物和芳香。在香港，中國文化則處在與西方文化抗衡的風口浪尖上，它的體現僅僅聚在那招牌上的一個個中國字和一個個黃皮黑發的中國人：是它們在提醒著我們還身處中國。事實上，這樣的提醒也趨漫漶了：商販們的默認吆喝語言是英語；一些公眾場所在周日就只能看到東南亞裔的傭人；有時標語的首行是英語，第二行才補用漢字翻譯；在我住的酒店里，電梯喇叭是先英語后廣東話地提醒你“大廳到了”，我忍不住用國罵回了一句“你他媽的就不能先國語后廣東話再英語地說？” 我聽說，回歸前香港的教育幾乎全是英語；回歸后政府反思教育，決定重用母語，結果每年入學招生的時候報紙上就滿是家長為了讓子女去讀英文學校而絞盡腦汁的新聞。看來我們文化的這一極在抗衡中敗下陣來了。
但想到一些事情后我又樂觀起來。在我看來香港和臺灣保存著中國文化的不少精髓；就像臥龍里的熊貓一樣：當年熊貓遍布西南，后來冰川來臨，熊貓分布一再萎縮，最后就僅存在于那些深山老林冰川無法肆虐的庇護所了。文化的冰川可以是很多東西，比方說文化大革命。也許自從文化大革命，也許還可以追溯到共產黨執政起，中國人的官方文化就只剩官腔套話了。什么“三個代表”、“八榮八恥”的屁話一個接著一個編。非官方文化呢，也難現五四時的朝氣蓬勃，大概只剩下一些創造諸如“宅男”一類詞語的網民了。但是香港則不一樣，大陸的文化冰川蓋不到他們，他們則如庇護熊貓一般保存了許多文化國寶。我這樣的感覺來源于一些流行歌曲：香港7、80年代的流行樂壇為鼎盛時期，許多歌詞寫得如宋詞般悠遠耐人尋味；盡管后來再難重現當年風光，但比之大陸的從來就是荒涼，也要好上許多。請看一詞：
《雙星情歌》 填詞（兼作曲、歌手）：許冠杰
曳搖共對輕舟飄，
互傳誓約慶春曉，
兩心相邀，影相照，
愿化海鷗輕唱悅情調。
艷陽下與妹相親，
望偕白首永不分，
美景醉人，心相允，
綠柳花間相對訂緣分。
心兩牽，
萬里阻隔相思愛莫變，
離別凄酸今朝似未見，
明日對花憶卿面。
淚殘夢了燭影深，
月明獨照冷鴛枕，
醉擁孤噙，悲不禁，
夜半飲泣空帳獨懷憾。
在我看來，這首詞對意象的把握和感情的描寫幾近絕唱。事實上，如此的歌詞在港曲中并不罕見，黃霑、許冠杰堪稱大師。
西化蠶食中國文化的同時，也注入了先進的理念。從廣州到香港，短短一程，卻讓我感受到兩地市民心理的偌大不同。在一些基本的人文原則（如言論自由）上，香港市民有著和西方一樣的信仰。我游港大就驚奇地發現那里有（也許是全國唯一的）六四紀念雕塑（當地稱“國殤之柱”）；當天在雕塑旁還正在舉辦一記者招待會。這招待會的起由說來有趣：“國殤之柱”的作者，一丹麥雕塑家（他們叫“高志活”）意欲在五月二號香港奧運圣火傳遞的當天舉行一些示威活動，但被拒入境。我贊同這是香港政府討好北京的做法。于是一些香港人憤怒了，于是就有了記者招待會的抗議。當晚看電視我還看到，還是在港大，一哲學系的女生（看樣子還在念本科）面對記者拉起一藏獨旗幟說火炬傳遞當天要支持藏獨。且不論觀點對錯，光是這些做法在已經習慣被閹割思想的大陸人看來就頗為傻逼：就為了表達一己言論這么大費周折，累不累？事實上，我覺得由此看出他們有著很高的社會責任感。在我們終日想著工作、生活的時候，與我們僅百里之隔的一個城市里學生、市民正在為言論自由、政治立場而忙碌。
回來兩天了，想起香港，始終覺得很驚艷。
這次是第二次；第一次是我高一暑假去美國的時候，路過住了兩宿。那時見的世面也少，僅是那林立的高樓就把我完全鎮住了。現代城市的壯觀華麗在那次給了我第一印象。
這次我自以為已有充分的心理準備，但香港依然給了我很大的驚喜。從空間上講，它離我居住的廣州不過百余公里，但它所表現出的城市風貌和市民心理與廣州截然不同（可以說優勝許多）。從時間上講，它的城市歷史不足兩百年，抵不上蘇州一個零頭，但人類的偉力使得在這一彈丸之地上（瞬間）樹立起一東方明珠。挖山填海，修路建樓，兩百年內，便有香港。
舊金山也曾讓我覺得驚艷，如一西方美女出現眼前；香港的驚艷則如一ABC，黃皮膚黑眼睛，但操著洋調番話。兩者都沒勾起我很大的認同感。在香港，你的國語很難派上用場；多數地方都得說我不太愛說的廣東話，少數地方你還必須得動用英語。漫步杭州，我的愉悅是放松的；因為蘇軾白居易他們就是我的祖宗，既是血統上的也是文化上的。他們漫步過西湖，游歷過靈隱，我自然也能。杭州的美麗如一鄰家女孩的親切。但在香港，我的心態是在打客場，處處小心，總恐違了規矩：她的美麗只能是驚艷，只愿遠處觀之不敢走進搭訕。
有人說，怎么會呢，香港到處都是中文，你如何懷有如此的心靈距離？在我看來，香港代表著中國文化的一極。在西安，在金陵，中國文化的代表是那斑駁的城墻，幽幽的小巷；那是我們文化的大后方，挖地三十丈釀酒儲糧，地下滿是谷物和芳香。在香港，中國文化則處在與西方文化抗衡的風口浪尖上，它的體現僅僅聚在那招牌上的一個個中國字和一個個黃皮黑發的中國人：是它們在提醒著我們還身處中國。事實上，這樣的提醒也趨漫漶了：商販們的默認吆喝語言是英語；一些公眾場所在周日就只能看到東南亞裔的傭人；有時標語的首行是英語，第二行才補用漢字翻譯；在我住的酒店里，電梯喇叭是先英語后廣東話地提醒你“大廳到了”，我忍不住用國罵回了一句“你他媽的就不能先國語后廣東話再英語地說？” 我聽說，回歸前香港的教育幾乎全是英語；回歸后政府反思教育，決定重用母語，結果每年入學招生的時候報紙上就滿是家長為了讓子女去讀英文學校而絞盡腦汁的新聞。看來我們文化的這一極在抗衡中敗下陣來了。
但想到一些事情后我又樂觀起來。在我看來香港和臺灣保存著中國文化的不少精髓；就像臥龍里的熊貓一樣：當年熊貓遍布西南，后來冰川來臨，熊貓分布一再萎縮，最后就僅存在于那些深山老林冰川無法肆虐的庇護所了。文化的冰川可以是很多東西，比方說文化大革命。也許自從文化大革命，也許還可以追溯到共產黨執政起，中國人的官方文化就只剩官腔套話了。什么“三個代表”、“八榮八恥”的屁話一個接著一個編。非官方文化呢，也難現五四時的朝氣蓬勃，大概只剩下一些創造諸如“宅男”一類詞語的網民了。但是香港則不一樣，大陸的文化冰川蓋不到他們，他們則如庇護熊貓一般保存了許多文化國寶。我這樣的感覺來源于一些流行歌曲：香港7、80年代的流行樂壇為鼎盛時期，許多歌詞寫得如宋詞般悠遠耐人尋味；盡管后來再難重現當年風光，但比之大陸的從來就是荒涼，也要好上許多。請看一詞：
《雙星情歌》 填詞（兼作曲、歌手）：許冠杰
曳搖共對輕舟飄，
互傳誓約慶春曉，
兩心相邀，影相照，
愿化海鷗輕唱悅情調。
艷陽下與妹相親，
望偕白首永不分，
美景醉人，心相允，
綠柳花間相對訂緣分。
心兩牽，
萬里阻隔相思愛莫變，
離別凄酸今朝似未見，
明日對花憶卿面。
淚殘夢了燭影深，
月明獨照冷鴛枕，
醉擁孤噙，悲不禁，
夜半飲泣空帳獨懷憾。
在我看來，這首詞對意象的把握和感情的描寫幾近絕唱。事實上，如此的歌詞在港曲中并不罕見，黃霑、許冠杰堪稱大師。
西化蠶食中國文化的同時，也注入了先進的理念。從廣州到香港，短短一程，卻讓我感受到兩地市民心理的偌大不同。在一些基本的人文原則（如言論自由）上，香港市民有著和西方一樣的信仰。我游港大就驚奇地發現那里有（也許是全國唯一的）六四紀念雕塑（當地稱“國殤之柱”）；當天在雕塑旁還正在舉辦一記者招待會。這招待會的起由說來有趣：“國殤之柱”的作者，一丹麥雕塑家（他們叫“高志活”）意欲在五月二號香港奧運圣火傳遞的當天舉行一些示威活動，但被拒入境。我贊同這是香港政府討好北京的做法。于是一些香港人憤怒了，于是就有了記者招待會的抗議。當晚看電視我還看到，還是在港大，一哲學系的女生（看樣子還在念本科）面對記者拉起一藏獨旗幟說火炬傳遞當天要支持藏獨。且不論觀點對錯，光是這些做法在已經習慣被閹割思想的大陸人看來就頗為傻逼：就為了表達一己言論這么大費周折，累不累？事實上，我覺得由此看出他們有著很高的社會責任感。在我們終日想著工作、生活的時候，與我們僅百里之隔的一個城市里學生、市民正在為言論自由、政治立場而忙碌。
回來兩天了，想起香港，始終覺得很驚艷。
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Power of Algorithm
In the project I am working on, I need to do a shuffling of an array of size over 2 millions. At first I thought it was rather easy, and quickly wrote a code myself based on the simplest logic: extract a random element of the array each time and store it in a new array, and repeat this process as many times as the size of the array. However, when running the code, I find that it is extremely time-consuming for a large array. Simulations indicate that the time required goes up quickly as the size of the array.
I have to find another solution. After reading related materials, I tried the so-called Fisher-Yates algorithm. To my wonderful surprise, the algorithm saves soooooo much time and the running time increases basically linearly with the array size, as shown in the following comparison (in unit of second):
Array size######My naive algorithm######Fisher-Yates algorithm
1,000############## 1 ################## 0
5,000############# 22 ################## 0
10,000 ############ 90 ################## 0.1
20,000 ########### 396 ################## 0.2
2,500,000 ######### Inf ################## 34
This is the first time that algorithm demonstrates its supreme power to me, and I am overwhelmed.
I have to find another solution. After reading related materials, I tried the so-called Fisher-Yates algorithm. To my wonderful surprise, the algorithm saves soooooo much time and the running time increases basically linearly with the array size, as shown in the following comparison (in unit of second):
Array size######My naive algorithm######Fisher-Yates algorithm
1,000############## 1 ################## 0
5,000############# 22 ################## 0
10,000 ############ 90 ################## 0.1
20,000 ########### 396 ################## 0.2
2,500,000 ######### Inf ################## 34
This is the first time that algorithm demonstrates its supreme power to me, and I am overwhelmed.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Wiki gets free
I like Wikipedia a lot, but in China I have to view it using proxies -- a sneaky way in the government's eyes. Today I find that it gets free from the long blocking, and I feel happy to consider it as a sign of the retreat of political needs for the needs of exchanging knowledge and information.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Some People I Feel Thankful To
In my application, I have received much help in various ways from a number of people. I feel deeply grateful to them for their helping me go through this important step of life.
1. Professor Wu. I wouldn't get so many offers were it not for his strong recommendation. Actually I suspect that UChicago has never admitted a student of ZSU before. I think I owe him so much that "grateful" is too weak a term to express my feeling. His selfless guidance and help along these years convince me that the scientific community is among the purest communities and fill me with the desire of reciprocating what I have received to the community by having students and treating them in the same way.
2. Professor Shi. She is my advisor in ZSU and a person of much maternity. I always get comfort and peace from her.
3. Professor Zhao-Bang Zeng. Also we have interactions no more than my having a course given by him, he happily wrote reference for me. It must make him disppointed when I finally declined NCSU where he is.
4. Professor Xionglei He. He is my good friend actually and I feel no pressure talking with him. He wrote two references for me.
5. Miao. Her reference book accompanied me through the toughest time.
6. Da. We are actually not mutualists, a term I once used. I get much more than I give. In fact he has been giving me valuable guidance throughout my undergraduate studies.
7. Feifei. He answered numerous questions of mine patiently when I first started application and was rather innocent. He is one of a couple of friends I made in college that I would value for lifetime.
8. Tab. His refinement improved my PS significantly. Also, he offered generous help when I needed someone to practice oral English with. In a word, he is most supportive. I deeply appreciate it.
9. Shen, Yang. He offered important help in my appliation to UChicago. He is also very supportive. Actually I worked with him for undergraduate thesis and he taught me a lot. I think he is more a valuable friend than a labmate.
10. Yijian, James Martinez, Huijie, Penghan, and some others whose names are missed here unintentionally. You have my most sincere thanks.
1. Professor Wu. I wouldn't get so many offers were it not for his strong recommendation. Actually I suspect that UChicago has never admitted a student of ZSU before. I think I owe him so much that "grateful" is too weak a term to express my feeling. His selfless guidance and help along these years convince me that the scientific community is among the purest communities and fill me with the desire of reciprocating what I have received to the community by having students and treating them in the same way.
2. Professor Shi. She is my advisor in ZSU and a person of much maternity. I always get comfort and peace from her.
3. Professor Zhao-Bang Zeng. Also we have interactions no more than my having a course given by him, he happily wrote reference for me. It must make him disppointed when I finally declined NCSU where he is.
4. Professor Xionglei He. He is my good friend actually and I feel no pressure talking with him. He wrote two references for me.
5. Miao. Her reference book accompanied me through the toughest time.
6. Da. We are actually not mutualists, a term I once used. I get much more than I give. In fact he has been giving me valuable guidance throughout my undergraduate studies.
7. Feifei. He answered numerous questions of mine patiently when I first started application and was rather innocent. He is one of a couple of friends I made in college that I would value for lifetime.
8. Tab. His refinement improved my PS significantly. Also, he offered generous help when I needed someone to practice oral English with. In a word, he is most supportive. I deeply appreciate it.
9. Shen, Yang. He offered important help in my appliation to UChicago. He is also very supportive. Actually I worked with him for undergraduate thesis and he taught me a lot. I think he is more a valuable friend than a labmate.
10. Yijian, James Martinez, Huijie, Penghan, and some others whose names are missed here unintentionally. You have my most sincere thanks.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Sophie, my Sophie.
(Some nonsense:
I haven't written any essay for long. For one thing, it is a long time since my sensitive and emotional years, when I liked reading poems and essays. Indeed, my blog has been a collection of "liushuizhang (流水帐)", which, judging from an aesthetic point of view, is no so good. Not correct to say I am devoid of sensations. Just not having an impulse strong enough to let me put things aside to document flashes of thoughts which, I think, are usually poetic and aesthetic.
But now I have one. )
The first line in the movie Cashback is, "it takes approximatedly 500 pounds to crash a human skull, but human emotion is a much more delicate thing." Indeed, that is why while we admire Su Shi (苏轼), or Xin Qiji (辛弃疾) for their poems full of ambitions and grandeur, we still appreciate Li Qingzhao (李清照) or Deng Lijun (邓丽君) for their poems or songs which focus on the human emotion which is delicate and whimsical in nature.
I have found something that I think can be a rule. Among the stars, or probably all people, only those who possess some uniqueness can stand out to be long appreciated and remembered. Marilyn Monroe is remembered as the sexy goddess, Uma Thurman is said to have the "beauty of sphinx", Gwyneth Kate Paltrow always presents a flavor of noble, Audrey Hepburn is the token of elegance, Cranberries is characterized by her unique voice, to list but just a few. Those who get caught in between are mediocre and ordinary and will fade soon. Among these stars, I'd like to pick one out, that is Sophie Marceau. I have just watched two movies of hers, Fire Light and FanFan, and that was more than two years ago. As one remarks, "her warm face and smiles can melt the icy stone."
Certainly my point is not the star herself. What I want to express is the joy that you have met someone really like her in your life. An amiable face, some unearthly smiles, a slender form -- that is, as I see it, what female beauty is most about. We were sitting, peacefully, at the deck of a ship which sailed across the pearl river. In retrospect, it was a most beautiful picture. Tall buidings at the two sides of the river bank, the remote sun shedding mild lights dyeing everything genially gold, soothing cool wind, a fire balloon hanging in the sky, and it was early Autumn. The beauty has the magic power that makes me to think if I go through the scene, as I have done, the rest are totally unimportant.
Since my undergrad junior year, I have gradually made up my mind to be a scientist. For a long time since then, I was a scientism (if my shallow thinkings can be labelled by such a philosophy), which meaned that I was such an advocate of science that I think everything else was much more inferior, if not worthless. Not until this May, when I happened to watch a movie (There is Something about Mary), and got excited from it for the next some days, did I realize the magic power of art, which captures beauty and offers soul consolation. Frankly, I am still convinced that the so-called aestheticism can be decomposed by our knowledge of neuroscience and psychology. Or put it in another way, the utterable exhilaration brought by viewing a setting sun can be ultimately explained by discovering the chemicals in action so that it is no more a very wonderful experience. But it seems so crude that I am somewhat reluctant to approach it.
For long I am rather curious of the attitude of artist, a pure one, towards beauty. How can a male artist observe a most pretty female form without having an erection? Is it a big lie from the beginning? Now it seems that I have some clues. The key may lies in that an artist is to view, to perceive, to appreciate, to document, to sublimate, rather than to peer, to possess, or to occupy. So, when seeing the rising sun by the beach, rich men come up with the desire to buy the land, while Claude Monet translates it into the everlasting painting Impression, Sunrise. When living by the idyllic Walden Lake, vulgars think about how to build up their own house so that they can occupy the scenes, while David Thoreau leaves the world with his famous comtemplation. When I was viewing the beautiful face next to me, the primary impulse might be to touch, to hug, to kiss, to possess, but, fortunately, what I thought then was to feel, to appreciate, to enjoy that tranquil moment.
On the face of the Fields Medal it says "to transcend one's spirit and to take hold of the world." Indeed, human are born to transcend. However, while transcendism is desirable, asceticism is not. Here lies an important art of life. Anyway, I believe that, since our most needs and wishes go unsatisfied, to transcend as an artist does usually rewards us with a better world.
I haven't written any essay for long. For one thing, it is a long time since my sensitive and emotional years, when I liked reading poems and essays. Indeed, my blog has been a collection of "liushuizhang (流水帐)", which, judging from an aesthetic point of view, is no so good. Not correct to say I am devoid of sensations. Just not having an impulse strong enough to let me put things aside to document flashes of thoughts which, I think, are usually poetic and aesthetic.
But now I have one. )
The first line in the movie Cashback is, "it takes approximatedly 500 pounds to crash a human skull, but human emotion is a much more delicate thing." Indeed, that is why while we admire Su Shi (苏轼), or Xin Qiji (辛弃疾) for their poems full of ambitions and grandeur, we still appreciate Li Qingzhao (李清照) or Deng Lijun (邓丽君) for their poems or songs which focus on the human emotion which is delicate and whimsical in nature.
I have found something that I think can be a rule. Among the stars, or probably all people, only those who possess some uniqueness can stand out to be long appreciated and remembered. Marilyn Monroe is remembered as the sexy goddess, Uma Thurman is said to have the "beauty of sphinx", Gwyneth Kate Paltrow always presents a flavor of noble, Audrey Hepburn is the token of elegance, Cranberries is characterized by her unique voice, to list but just a few. Those who get caught in between are mediocre and ordinary and will fade soon. Among these stars, I'd like to pick one out, that is Sophie Marceau. I have just watched two movies of hers, Fire Light and FanFan, and that was more than two years ago. As one remarks, "her warm face and smiles can melt the icy stone."
Certainly my point is not the star herself. What I want to express is the joy that you have met someone really like her in your life. An amiable face, some unearthly smiles, a slender form -- that is, as I see it, what female beauty is most about. We were sitting, peacefully, at the deck of a ship which sailed across the pearl river. In retrospect, it was a most beautiful picture. Tall buidings at the two sides of the river bank, the remote sun shedding mild lights dyeing everything genially gold, soothing cool wind, a fire balloon hanging in the sky, and it was early Autumn. The beauty has the magic power that makes me to think if I go through the scene, as I have done, the rest are totally unimportant.
Since my undergrad junior year, I have gradually made up my mind to be a scientist. For a long time since then, I was a scientism (if my shallow thinkings can be labelled by such a philosophy), which meaned that I was such an advocate of science that I think everything else was much more inferior, if not worthless. Not until this May, when I happened to watch a movie (There is Something about Mary), and got excited from it for the next some days, did I realize the magic power of art, which captures beauty and offers soul consolation. Frankly, I am still convinced that the so-called aestheticism can be decomposed by our knowledge of neuroscience and psychology. Or put it in another way, the utterable exhilaration brought by viewing a setting sun can be ultimately explained by discovering the chemicals in action so that it is no more a very wonderful experience. But it seems so crude that I am somewhat reluctant to approach it.
For long I am rather curious of the attitude of artist, a pure one, towards beauty. How can a male artist observe a most pretty female form without having an erection? Is it a big lie from the beginning? Now it seems that I have some clues. The key may lies in that an artist is to view, to perceive, to appreciate, to document, to sublimate, rather than to peer, to possess, or to occupy. So, when seeing the rising sun by the beach, rich men come up with the desire to buy the land, while Claude Monet translates it into the everlasting painting Impression, Sunrise. When living by the idyllic Walden Lake, vulgars think about how to build up their own house so that they can occupy the scenes, while David Thoreau leaves the world with his famous comtemplation. When I was viewing the beautiful face next to me, the primary impulse might be to touch, to hug, to kiss, to possess, but, fortunately, what I thought then was to feel, to appreciate, to enjoy that tranquil moment.
On the face of the Fields Medal it says "to transcend one's spirit and to take hold of the world." Indeed, human are born to transcend. However, while transcendism is desirable, asceticism is not. Here lies an important art of life. Anyway, I believe that, since our most needs and wishes go unsatisfied, to transcend as an artist does usually rewards us with a better world.
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