(Some nonsense:
I haven't written any essay for long. For one thing, it is a long time since my sensitive and emotional years, when I liked reading poems and essays. Indeed, my blog has been a collection of "liushuizhang (流水帐)", which, judging from an aesthetic point of view, is no so good. Not correct to say I am devoid of sensations. Just not having an impulse strong enough to let me put things aside to document flashes of thoughts which, I think, are usually poetic and aesthetic.
But now I have one. )
The first line in the movie Cashback is, "it takes approximatedly 500 pounds to crash a human skull, but human emotion is a much more delicate thing." Indeed, that is why while we admire Su Shi (苏轼), or Xin Qiji (辛弃疾) for their poems full of ambitions and grandeur, we still appreciate Li Qingzhao (李清照) or Deng Lijun (邓丽君) for their poems or songs which focus on the human emotion which is delicate and whimsical in nature.
I have found something that I think can be a rule. Among the stars, or probably all people, only those who possess some uniqueness can stand out to be long appreciated and remembered. Marilyn Monroe is remembered as the sexy goddess, Uma Thurman is said to have the "beauty of sphinx", Gwyneth Kate Paltrow always presents a flavor of noble, Audrey Hepburn is the token of elegance, Cranberries is characterized by her unique voice, to list but just a few. Those who get caught in between are mediocre and ordinary and will fade soon. Among these stars, I'd like to pick one out, that is Sophie Marceau. I have just watched two movies of hers, Fire Light and FanFan, and that was more than two years ago. As one remarks, "her warm face and smiles can melt the icy stone."
Certainly my point is not the star herself. What I want to express is the joy that you have met someone really like her in your life. An amiable face, some unearthly smiles, a slender form -- that is, as I see it, what female beauty is most about. We were sitting, peacefully, at the deck of a ship which sailed across the pearl river. In retrospect, it was a most beautiful picture. Tall buidings at the two sides of the river bank, the remote sun shedding mild lights dyeing everything genially gold, soothing cool wind, a fire balloon hanging in the sky, and it was early Autumn. The beauty has the magic power that makes me to think if I go through the scene, as I have done, the rest are totally unimportant.
Since my undergrad junior year, I have gradually made up my mind to be a scientist. For a long time since then, I was a scientism (if my shallow thinkings can be labelled by such a philosophy), which meaned that I was such an advocate of science that I think everything else was much more inferior, if not worthless. Not until this May, when I happened to watch a movie (There is Something about Mary), and got excited from it for the next some days, did I realize the magic power of art, which captures beauty and offers soul consolation. Frankly, I am still convinced that the so-called aestheticism can be decomposed by our knowledge of neuroscience and psychology. Or put it in another way, the utterable exhilaration brought by viewing a setting sun can be ultimately explained by discovering the chemicals in action so that it is no more a very wonderful experience. But it seems so crude that I am somewhat reluctant to approach it.
For long I am rather curious of the attitude of artist, a pure one, towards beauty. How can a male artist observe a most pretty female form without having an erection? Is it a big lie from the beginning? Now it seems that I have some clues. The key may lies in that an artist is to view, to perceive, to appreciate, to document, to sublimate, rather than to peer, to possess, or to occupy. So, when seeing the rising sun by the beach, rich men come up with the desire to buy the land, while Claude Monet translates it into the everlasting painting Impression, Sunrise. When living by the idyllic Walden Lake, vulgars think about how to build up their own house so that they can occupy the scenes, while David Thoreau leaves the world with his famous comtemplation. When I was viewing the beautiful face next to me, the primary impulse might be to touch, to hug, to kiss, to possess, but, fortunately, what I thought then was to feel, to appreciate, to enjoy that tranquil moment.
On the face of the Fields Medal it says "to transcend one's spirit and to take hold of the world." Indeed, human are born to transcend. However, while transcendism is desirable, asceticism is not. Here lies an important art of life. Anyway, I believe that, since our most needs and wishes go unsatisfied, to transcend as an artist does usually rewards us with a better world.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
about mathematcis
It is an old topic, but I think I have some newer understandings.
One year ago, when I first moved to the east campus for my second degree of statistics, I cherished a notion that was quite distinct from my present one. I was naive then, having a somewhat religious and pious belief on the strength of mathematics. I thought, then, that mathematics might hold the key for the ultimate truth of nature.
However, as I know more and more about the application of mathematics in biology, I become more and more realistic. As a part of nature, biology has its innate properties and complexities that are intractable to math. Actually, it seems that, besides biology, most of our nature is intractable to math, such as meteorology. Physics has much math because it starts from very simplifying and ideal systems. Therefore, my previous conviction seems quite untenable.
What role does theoretical biology play in the filed? As I become more realistic, my answer becomes more conservative. I think it is helpful to integrating and systemizing what we know experimentally, and contributes conceptually. However, this role is limited, as can be seen from the fact that most of the cornerstones in biology are experimental discoveries.
I choose to study theoretical aspects simply because I like it. Of course, as biology becomes more and more quantitative, the role theoretical biology plays will become more and more significant. I hope to make some contributi0ns to this change.
Based on my current knowledge, the following branches of math are close to biology:
statistics (abundant branches)
probability (including stochastic process)
calculus (notably ODE & PDE)
linear algebra
Some other not-so-intimate branches include dynamic programming, game theory(behavioral study), etc. Hence, it is better to focus on and master these subjects than to study much math without grasping firmly these core branches.
In the following I'd like to talk about another aspect. I gradually realize the great distinction between applied math and mathematical theory. For those who mainly apply math, math is a tool and little theory is required. A very convincing example is the success of Newton in deriving the law of general gravity based on the Kepler's three observational principles. By his time the rigorous basis of mathematical analysis (calculus) had not been set up, which did no harm at all to its utility. Therefore, I think I don't have to waver at whether I should study those theoretical aspects of math any more. For example, for applying calculus, I think what I need to master includes how to develop a continuous model (involving instantaneous rate), calculating integration and most importantly, how to solve DEs. For theoretical aspects like epsilon-delta language, mid-value theorem of differential, I don't think they are necessary. I won't study course like real analysis until I later find it useful.
For those who wish to study more math, I suggest that taking courses may not be as helpful as they expect. In fact, as our academic careers go on, we will find that most of what we know are got from self-study. I think self-study has some advantages over taking courses, such as more flexible, less homework-oriented, less requirement-oriented (that is, you can study to the extent your think it is enough, rather than what teachers tell you are enough. In my probability course, my teacher told us that CLT, large number theorem, convergence in probability/distribution, characteristic function, moment function, etc., were beyond the scope of the course, which, however, turned out to be very important), etc.
In the coming semester, I will audit, not take, two courses: stochastic process and PDE (perhaps plus nonparametric statistics). I believe they will be useful and I hope I can master them relatively well.
One year ago, when I first moved to the east campus for my second degree of statistics, I cherished a notion that was quite distinct from my present one. I was naive then, having a somewhat religious and pious belief on the strength of mathematics. I thought, then, that mathematics might hold the key for the ultimate truth of nature.
However, as I know more and more about the application of mathematics in biology, I become more and more realistic. As a part of nature, biology has its innate properties and complexities that are intractable to math. Actually, it seems that, besides biology, most of our nature is intractable to math, such as meteorology. Physics has much math because it starts from very simplifying and ideal systems. Therefore, my previous conviction seems quite untenable.
What role does theoretical biology play in the filed? As I become more realistic, my answer becomes more conservative. I think it is helpful to integrating and systemizing what we know experimentally, and contributes conceptually. However, this role is limited, as can be seen from the fact that most of the cornerstones in biology are experimental discoveries.
I choose to study theoretical aspects simply because I like it. Of course, as biology becomes more and more quantitative, the role theoretical biology plays will become more and more significant. I hope to make some contributi0ns to this change.
Based on my current knowledge, the following branches of math are close to biology:
statistics (abundant branches)
probability (including stochastic process)
calculus (notably ODE & PDE)
linear algebra
Some other not-so-intimate branches include dynamic programming, game theory(behavioral study), etc. Hence, it is better to focus on and master these subjects than to study much math without grasping firmly these core branches.
In the following I'd like to talk about another aspect. I gradually realize the great distinction between applied math and mathematical theory. For those who mainly apply math, math is a tool and little theory is required. A very convincing example is the success of Newton in deriving the law of general gravity based on the Kepler's three observational principles. By his time the rigorous basis of mathematical analysis (calculus) had not been set up, which did no harm at all to its utility. Therefore, I think I don't have to waver at whether I should study those theoretical aspects of math any more. For example, for applying calculus, I think what I need to master includes how to develop a continuous model (involving instantaneous rate), calculating integration and most importantly, how to solve DEs. For theoretical aspects like epsilon-delta language, mid-value theorem of differential, I don't think they are necessary. I won't study course like real analysis until I later find it useful.
For those who wish to study more math, I suggest that taking courses may not be as helpful as they expect. In fact, as our academic careers go on, we will find that most of what we know are got from self-study. I think self-study has some advantages over taking courses, such as more flexible, less homework-oriented, less requirement-oriented (that is, you can study to the extent your think it is enough, rather than what teachers tell you are enough. In my probability course, my teacher told us that CLT, large number theorem, convergence in probability/distribution, characteristic function, moment function, etc., were beyond the scope of the course, which, however, turned out to be very important), etc.
In the coming semester, I will audit, not take, two courses: stochastic process and PDE (perhaps plus nonparametric statistics). I believe they will be useful and I hope I can master them relatively well.
My summer vacation
7.2-7.6 Graduation
ceremony, taking pictures, dinner, seeing classmates off, etc.
It feels bad.
7.7-8.6 lab (miRNA project)
A dull month. Wu Laoshi came during the month.
8.7-8.23 WH
A very pleasant fortnight. Hometown, 14th floor, icecream, self-study, soothing weather, movies, grand parents, spicy food... The boredom I underwent during the lab month was compensated.
8.24-8.25 JM
A brief stay at home.
8.26-9.2 GZ
preparing for the coming semester by studying some math and population genetics.
In sum, it is a satisfying summer vacation. I spare no effort.
ceremony, taking pictures, dinner, seeing classmates off, etc.
It feels bad.
7.7-8.6 lab (miRNA project)
A dull month. Wu Laoshi came during the month.
8.7-8.23 WH
A very pleasant fortnight. Hometown, 14th floor, icecream, self-study, soothing weather, movies, grand parents, spicy food... The boredom I underwent during the lab month was compensated.
8.24-8.25 JM
A brief stay at home.
8.26-9.2 GZ
preparing for the coming semester by studying some math and population genetics.
In sum, it is a satisfying summer vacation. I spare no effort.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
coming back
I have not come here for long. The main reason is my having no access to the blogspot -- it has been blocked in China mainland. Thanks to 朱靖君, who is one of my previous classmates and studies computer science in Tsinghua, I can come here again using Firefox. I think I will keep using blogspot -- moving to another blog website is tiresome. Of course, this would reduce the number of readers substantially. But I don't think there is much room for the reduction -- it does not have many readers from the beginning. (actually, I have to say, Da is my biggest and best reader. So, never mind.) (If convenient, I will store a copy in my msn space when I write something here in the future)
Summer vacation has been its midway. In the past one month or so, I mainly kept doing my project on miRNA structure. To be honest, it is not fun, because its conceptual requirements are low and I mainly deal with technical stuff. Nevertheless, it does benefit me in some aspects, the most important one being strenthening my programming skills. I have a lot of programming practice throughout the project and I think I am not a low-level perl programmer anymore. However, due to the limited range of the tasks given by the project, I have not been given the opportunities of learning some advanced features, such OO programming. I do hope that I can get strengthened in these aspects.
Another weakness of mine exposed by the project is using softwares and numerical methods. An example: I have thought out a probability model of quantifying a biological process (it is simple, but I am proud of myself since it is my first time successfully applying statistical principles to biology), the results of which need first getting the likelihood function via symbolic calculations and second getting the MLEs of parameters. The first step is best implemented in software like matlab and second step seems solvable only through numerical methods. However, I know little of both of them previously. (I don't know how to do the second taks even now, since Wu Laoshi told me to write a simple descriptive paper, which does not involve the probability model.) Anyway, I think through this project, I know better what I have to learn in the future. (actually, Da has told me nearly three years ago the importance of using softwares)
I will spend some days more to give an end to this project. My state is just soso these days, and I have to adjust myself to my best.
What is coming is rather exciting. First, Wu Laoshi told me to do something on Drosophila genome analysis, which is more relevant to speciation theory. Although it has a technical beginning(it seems that I have to learn some bioinformatic techiniques before starting the analysis), on the whole it is more theoretical than what I am doing. Second, the lab gets bigger as two abroad students just came back (曾凯&贺雄雷). Their focuses are theoretical population genetics and regulatory networks, respectively, and they do very well at them. I am sincerely pleased that the laboratorial environment gets more nurturing.
It is just three months or so to my application. I have not thought about the application details and the schools yet. I just first do my science well and then think about the rest. Perhaps in the last days of the summer vacation, I can spend some time on them.
A bit ashamed to admit, I am still wavering on whether to continue studying for second degree of statistics. The main reasons include: 1, if I want my research exprience to be richer, I'd better spend more time doing research in the coming semester. However, if I take mathematical and statistical courses in the coming semester, the course load would be rather heavy. Plus the application process which may be time-consuming, I doubt if I can handle them. 2, most of the courses in zsu suck. I think it may not be a bad choice that I wait for one year more and take similar courses at US which are supposed to be much better. Furthermore, self-study is not bad. I will see if 曾凯 can guide me in research and then make the decision.
Most of my college classmates graduated and choose to find a job. Some of them find lucrative jobs and make big money, which will translate into comfortable lives in the near future. To me, this is a time when I reflect upon my passion on nature and science, and more importantly, have some adjustments on the attitude towards research. To outsiders, what a scientist or researcher stands for are their publications and astonishing discoveries, just like we think of the principle of natural selection when talking about Charles Darwin, or the law of relativity when referring to Albert Einstein. However, to the scientists themselves, their lives may be constituted by the small pieces of mirth brought by every small progress and discovery. It is the mirth and the sense of fulfilment that bind them to research. However, if the focus has shifted to publication or title, as is abounding currently, they have degraded to the level of politicians or businessmen.
Of course, everyone is seeking for happiness. To me, the happiness brought by research results is more substantial than by making money or something. We all have our life once; some may desparately want to have something, while some may wish to leave something. It is a rule that human history remembers most clearly scientists, thinkers and artists. Most of the plutocrats disappear without a trace on history.
Summer vacation has been its midway. In the past one month or so, I mainly kept doing my project on miRNA structure. To be honest, it is not fun, because its conceptual requirements are low and I mainly deal with technical stuff. Nevertheless, it does benefit me in some aspects, the most important one being strenthening my programming skills. I have a lot of programming practice throughout the project and I think I am not a low-level perl programmer anymore. However, due to the limited range of the tasks given by the project, I have not been given the opportunities of learning some advanced features, such OO programming. I do hope that I can get strengthened in these aspects.
Another weakness of mine exposed by the project is using softwares and numerical methods. An example: I have thought out a probability model of quantifying a biological process (it is simple, but I am proud of myself since it is my first time successfully applying statistical principles to biology), the results of which need first getting the likelihood function via symbolic calculations and second getting the MLEs of parameters. The first step is best implemented in software like matlab and second step seems solvable only through numerical methods. However, I know little of both of them previously. (I don't know how to do the second taks even now, since Wu Laoshi told me to write a simple descriptive paper, which does not involve the probability model.) Anyway, I think through this project, I know better what I have to learn in the future. (actually, Da has told me nearly three years ago the importance of using softwares)
I will spend some days more to give an end to this project. My state is just soso these days, and I have to adjust myself to my best.
What is coming is rather exciting. First, Wu Laoshi told me to do something on Drosophila genome analysis, which is more relevant to speciation theory. Although it has a technical beginning(it seems that I have to learn some bioinformatic techiniques before starting the analysis), on the whole it is more theoretical than what I am doing. Second, the lab gets bigger as two abroad students just came back (曾凯&贺雄雷). Their focuses are theoretical population genetics and regulatory networks, respectively, and they do very well at them. I am sincerely pleased that the laboratorial environment gets more nurturing.
It is just three months or so to my application. I have not thought about the application details and the schools yet. I just first do my science well and then think about the rest. Perhaps in the last days of the summer vacation, I can spend some time on them.
A bit ashamed to admit, I am still wavering on whether to continue studying for second degree of statistics. The main reasons include: 1, if I want my research exprience to be richer, I'd better spend more time doing research in the coming semester. However, if I take mathematical and statistical courses in the coming semester, the course load would be rather heavy. Plus the application process which may be time-consuming, I doubt if I can handle them. 2, most of the courses in zsu suck. I think it may not be a bad choice that I wait for one year more and take similar courses at US which are supposed to be much better. Furthermore, self-study is not bad. I will see if 曾凯 can guide me in research and then make the decision.
Most of my college classmates graduated and choose to find a job. Some of them find lucrative jobs and make big money, which will translate into comfortable lives in the near future. To me, this is a time when I reflect upon my passion on nature and science, and more importantly, have some adjustments on the attitude towards research. To outsiders, what a scientist or researcher stands for are their publications and astonishing discoveries, just like we think of the principle of natural selection when talking about Charles Darwin, or the law of relativity when referring to Albert Einstein. However, to the scientists themselves, their lives may be constituted by the small pieces of mirth brought by every small progress and discovery. It is the mirth and the sense of fulfilment that bind them to research. However, if the focus has shifted to publication or title, as is abounding currently, they have degraded to the level of politicians or businessmen.
Of course, everyone is seeking for happiness. To me, the happiness brought by research results is more substantial than by making money or something. We all have our life once; some may desparately want to have something, while some may wish to leave something. It is a rule that human history remembers most clearly scientists, thinkers and artists. Most of the plutocrats disappear without a trace on history.
Friday, May 11, 2007
thesis
I have been working for my undergraduate thesis for long and it now comes to a critical juncture. I have to keep myself at a good state and keep working, partly for that topic I am working on is interesting and important, partly for it to be published so that my application will be further guaranteed.
So, at this time torrid and humid summer, after a long break, I have to get back to work even harder.
Graduation is coming close. See, I am still young and passionate:
So, at this time torrid and humid summer, after a long break, I have to get back to work even harder.
Graduation is coming close. See, I am still young and passionate:
@back mountain, Zhuhai. The distant view is the campus.
5.1 vacation (2007)
After a long work without rest, I took a long break in 5.1 vacation.
5.1-5.2
I went to Zhuhai campus with some friends. The weather is OK, despite the burning sun, and we had a good time. Again, I saw the flying papilios (空中掠影，惊鸿一现), and many famaliar things. However, I did not spend much time recalling, nor did I get stuck in sentiments. Perhaps "now" has taken up so much of my life and "future" is so worth looking forward to that I do have to turn to "past" for spiritual comfort. Anyway, I am very glad of such a coming back, especially with some good friends.
One of my Shixiong's, an indeed nice guy. He is gonna leaving for uchicago this summer. His bent is at bioinformatics.
纽灰蝶
5.4-5.10
I went back to Wuhan. I left the city for Guangdong when I was three. Since then, I have never seen Wuhan in May. During my stay, the sky is almost always clear and the temperature is soothing, so the city seems quite a nice place this time of the year, unlike what it is like some months later.
I spent much time with my family, which is hard most often as work usually keeps my at school. My grandma's health condition is OK, so is my grandpa. However, their situation is a bit pathetic.
I also spent some time in wild. I climb the back mountain with two newly met friend, Caterpillar and Yinchijia, and knew many novel things.
Charltonius said that it was not caterpillar of Graphium sarpedon (Gs has no the yellow stripe).
琉璃灰蝶属种类
长尾蓝灰蝶
琉璃蛱蝶，寄主菝契
5.1-5.2
I went to Zhuhai campus with some friends. The weather is OK, despite the burning sun, and we had a good time. Again, I saw the flying papilios (空中掠影，惊鸿一现), and many famaliar things. However, I did not spend much time recalling, nor did I get stuck in sentiments. Perhaps "now" has taken up so much of my life and "future" is so worth looking forward to that I do have to turn to "past" for spiritual comfort. Anyway, I am very glad of such a coming back, especially with some good friends.
One of my Shixiong's, an indeed nice guy. He is gonna leaving for uchicago this summer. His bent is at bioinformatics.
纽灰蝶
5.4-5.10
I went back to Wuhan. I left the city for Guangdong when I was three. Since then, I have never seen Wuhan in May. During my stay, the sky is almost always clear and the temperature is soothing, so the city seems quite a nice place this time of the year, unlike what it is like some months later.
I spent much time with my family, which is hard most often as work usually keeps my at school. My grandma's health condition is OK, so is my grandpa. However, their situation is a bit pathetic.
I also spent some time in wild. I climb the back mountain with two newly met friend, Caterpillar and Yinchijia, and knew many novel things.
Charltonius said that it was not caterpillar of Graphium sarpedon (Gs has no the yellow stripe).
琉璃灰蝶属种类
长尾蓝灰蝶
琉璃蛱蝶，寄主菝契
Friday, April 20, 2007
explaning the name
My previous blog's name is "a naturalist's perception". However, I soon realized that I am not a naturalist, which, by common definition, refers to those studying natural history and most of them mainly engage in field work. Since I have left field work for long and I am now mainly interested in the genetic basis of evolution, the title no longer holds.
I'd like to position myself in a broad context, i.e., a student of biology. Indeed, every biological phenomenum is the product of evolutionary process, and is thereby intriguing. Of course, unlike traditional biologists, I'd implement a lot of mathematical and bioinformatic approaches.
I'd like to position myself in a broad context, i.e., a student of biology. Indeed, every biological phenomenum is the product of evolutionary process, and is thereby intriguing. Of course, unlike traditional biologists, I'd implement a lot of mathematical and bioinformatic approaches.
a new site
I have long been sick of the msn space site, which is slow and ugly. If I'd like to continue to maintain a blog, changing for somewhere nicer seems inevitable.
Well, I am not sure if this one, the blogger, is significantly better. Any recommendation of blog website is welcome.
Well, I am not sure if this one, the blogger, is significantly better. Any recommendation of blog website is welcome.
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